it has been an amazing holiday season. i love love love christmas and all the joy and spirit that comes with it. i also finally realized how much i love to give gifts. and love the coming of the christ child.

however, i am NOT a fan of the kind of christmas music they play on the radio. don't get me wrong, i love christmas music. but it has to be my christmas music. otherwise, forget it. deal breaker right there.

christmas, like i said was awesome. christmas eve service at my church was great. i love christmas eve services. they may rank at the top of my favorite church services of the year list. he talked about the darkness:

"god only works in the darkness"

"the closer we are to God, the harder it is to see the big picture/final destination. The closer we are to God, the easier it is for us to take the next step"

"let yourself be loved by the community you are in"

if we want to know the will of god? we can't. it's none of our business. plus, we'd weither try to take control or run the other direction.

on another note, my grandfather in canada (biological!) is not doing well...they are only giving him a few more days. i got really shook up last night about it, mainly because i haven't seen them since 2001.

pray for him, please.

peace

timing.

i'm in a new season of my life, and it's one of trust.

i'm finally content with my life and where it's headed. i'm not anxious-like i said, i'm content. i am chill and not worried. it's a pretty awesome feeling. i was chatting with my pastor and came to the conclusion that i think God has been working with me in the realm of social justice since i was a kid. more like since i started going to aldersgate. it's amazing how that happens...back to liberty and the story of richard allen. it's freaking incredible how things come together like that.

i love the snow. we got like six inches yesterday. it makes me really want to go skiing. maybe next week.

i am SO excited because my best friend is coming home from australia tomorrow, and i'm seeing a longtime camp friend tonight who i haven't seen in ages.

it's almost christmas. which means jesus is coming. it's kind of unbelievable that christmas is nearly here, especially since i haven't been t many advent services. ah, well. i love it. it makes me think of what i'm greatful for.

i keep telling people not to buy me anything for christmas, but they won't listen.

i'd rather we all spend time together. agreed? yes, i think so.

i have this awkward bruise on my lip. i must have gotten in a fight while sleeping last night. i can sleep violently, you know.

my friend is getting married today. she's 21. CRAZY. i wish i could be at her wedding...however, i am in new jersey. looking out my window at an evergreen covered in snow.

i think it would be cool to have a job that is called "snowmaker" at a ski resort.

wow, i'm random. christmas shopping time!

peace.

"Family isn't about whose blood you have. It's about who you care about."

i think this quote is so important around thanksgiving, especially with my family.

i have the most amazing family in the world, and i don't know where i'd be without them. and considering they are not my blood family...well, i think it's incredible. i was going through a scrapbook where they wrote letters to me when i graduated, and i'm sitting here crying-they are incredible people.

i am so thankful and i am so blessed.

i have amazing friends. an amazing roommate who does my laundry for me when i'm stressed, and who even cooks for me sometimes. my boyfriend has changed my life. i have people who care about me, and a roof over my head. we don't have bombs exploding around us, and we have money to buy a thanksgiving dinner.

there are so many families who can't be together today for so many reasons, and i pray for them.

i'm thankful for everyone in my life.

have a wonderful thanksgiving. i can't write anymore, or else i'll keep crying.

i'm going home tomorrow, and i couldn't be happier.

i know it's been a while since i posted, but life has been crazy. a good crazy though.

i had a conversation with some people who said how different i am this year in comparison to last year. they say i am so much happier. it's amazing what a few months and life changes can do to your overall life.

let's see. i've really been learning not to let the little things bother me, and i feel like i'm improving everyday. we talked about this in church on sunday. pastor jack talked about being thankful--and asked us to seriously consider if we feel thankful--or if everything else is taking over?

he used the comparison of goats and sheep in talking about jesus discussing the end times in matthew 25. sheep are pretty chill creatures, but goats are really jumpy and cranky and let the honk of a horn bother them.

our worth is not wrapped up in jobs, school, or boyfriends--we don't need to flinch or freak out when bad things happen...we need to be more like sheep because it's about the little things. it's the small stuff---we are in good hands, and should be thankful.

"we should be thankful, he's coming"--JESUS is coming. and we should be thankful for the greatest gift ever. and try and spend time everyday--at least a second where we put aside the lists, and don't say anything about ourselves, the future, or the past--we should think about and focus on jesus coming back.

think about it...it's so true. i know i get wrapped up in a million things throughout the day. but maybe if i stopped, for a second every day and was thankful, it would make my life a better place.

i got an interview for teach for america. i'm thankful. pray for me.

keep the faith.

ever have one of those days where little things drive you CRAZY? and not in a good way?

yeah. it's one of those. i'm so frustrated, and i think it's simply because someone i know is in a funk.

RAWR. i hate this.

i'm really anxious about tomorrow.

i really just want to be at home. with my boyfriend.

but he's out with friends, and i don't want to be a pain in the ass calling.

frustration is frustrating. i need to distract myself.

i bought taylor swift's new album yesterday, and i'm kind of obsessed with it.

it's surprising, since i'm not really a fan of country music. i think her lyrics are great, and i love girly songs :)

also, i'm kind of in love with switchfoot's "on fire" right now as well

"you're the hope i see in change"

i find out tomorrow whether or not i get an interview for teach for america.

i'm nervous. either say a prayer or keep your fingers crossed.

thanks. xx

ramblings on a saturday night.

someone told my mom that her juvenile team's program was "ingenious"

they called her ingenious.

that is AMAZING!

i cried, because the program she created is absolutely incredible. i can't wait to be a part of it.

speaking of the future, i submitted my teach for america application. i hear thursday if i have made it to the first interview round...it's going to be a crazy couple of days waiting to hear. i'm impatient, and i'm seriously praying and hoping that this is what God has in store for me...i really just feel like it's what i need to be doing. so, if you read this, say a prayer...maybe even just for clarity, and that if this door closes, another one will open.

i do not want to get up at five tomorrow...i need a vacation.

luckily, i'll be home in like 17 days. and then 25 for christmas break. thank goodness. i really miss a certain someone...

i also really miss my family...i can't wait to move home, but i also don't want to graduate and leave my friends. bitersweet, i tell you. wynne and i went on an adventure tonight, and it was fun. we wandered around barnes and noble. i love my roommate.

being in love...well, that's another story.

keep the faith.

it happened.

i may have just heard three words that will change my life.

yes, you know.

speech <3

"It's been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this day, in this election, at this defining moment, change has come to America."

"it grew strength from the young people who rejected the myth of their generation's apathy...".

"The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even one term, but America--I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there. I promise you--we as a people will get there. "

"What began twenty-one months ago in the depths of winter must not end on this autumn night. This victory alone is not the change we seek--it is only the chance for us to make that change. And that cannot happen if we go back to the way things were. It cannot happen without you."

"For that is the true genius of America--that America can change. Our union can be perfected. And what we have already achieved gives us hope for what we can and must achieve tomorrow."

"America, we have come so far. We have seen so much. But there is so much more to do. So tonight, let us ask ourselves--if our children should live to see the next century; if my daughters should be so lucky to live as long as Ann Nixon Cooper, what change will they see? What progress will we have made?

This is our chance to answer that call. This is our moment. This is our time - to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American Dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth--that out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope, and where we are met with cynicism, and doubt, and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people.

Yes We Can. Thank you, God bless you, and may God Bless the United States of America."

AMAZING

history was made tonight....

i am amazed at our new president.

president obama.

i am absolutely ecstatic about the next four years.
i am so proud to be an american, and so happy that people got out and voted!

i stand for change. as do millions of americans.

"change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. we are the ones we've been waiting for. we are the change we seek"-barack obama.

YES WE CAN!

election

i am really anxious for tomorrow.

maybe it's because it's the first election i am voting in.
maybe it's because i actually care.
maybe it's because barack obama is amazing.
maybe it's because i'm scared of sarah palin as potentally becoming president.

i vote number 3. i really want obama to win the election. i wish my closest friends and family would see on the same page as me. it's really weird, being the odd one out in my family, and boyfriend. i never would've seen that coming. i think it's because of all my social justice beliefs and whatnot. i mean, maybe i'm a democrat but all i really want is to see everyone in this country happy. and i'm kind of scared of what would happen if mccain becomes president.

i really hope that this political stuff never gets in the way of matt and i's relationship, mainly because i see this one lasting.

yeah. i'm falling.

it's been a weird day, and i just want tomorrow to be over, however, free coffee at starbucks sounds amusing.

i'm falling. it's amazing.

i want to learn how to take really awesome pictures. i think i need a new camera to do that. it's crazy how fast technology changes these days. my camera is really only 2-3 years old, but it's outdated in comparison to stuff out there now. it's also kind of bulky. oh well. i have my whole life to learn.

i'm in a funny mood tonight. i'm also really tired, which can attribute to part of it. me and my biochem class went out for drinks last night. needless to say, i was hungover this morning. we had so much fun! it was much needed after a long week.

my computer is acting up. it needs to calm down.

i saw relient k in concert on wednesday. it was amazing, and i was really close to the stage. they didn't have barricades, and the stage was 2 people away. it was pretty incredible. they are amazing. the end.

ugh. i would love to go to bed. maybe after the end of juno. alas...i have to be up at freakin' 4:45 in the morning. do you know how ridiculous that is? i do.

til later. . .

I've decided to start posting things we talk about in church and whatnot on here, because i feel its important to write down, and document. i mean, i write it in my journal, but this is easy access.

There was a song called after the last tear falls that went "after the last tear falls-there is love". it was beautiful, and so true in every sense of the phrase. i loved it. i nearly cried. anyway. the scripture was from John 20:19-23. we talked about missions. he said that we are fed up with what we see at home, which is often times why we pursue overseas mission work.

"practical tips on how to realize God's potential for our lives"
1. Quit Hating. As a culture, we tend to hate those on the otherside. our mind is powerful --when people bring up thins, it irks us--it's about how we react. we need to quit speaking poorly about others.
2. Put yourself in their shoes-Christians love their enemies. we need to be continuously thinking about how they see the world. when this happens, we will hear something different, and see that real people care about something.
3. Seek God's mystery and knowledge-God is above us. we can seek him, but there's always something mysterious. for every answer, we find another question. and for all of these questions and answers, seek God, because he's a God that will give answers and questions.

he also compared Christianity to a cruise ship model, how everything is included. we have curriculum for everything, all over the place. we need to realize that churches aren't for people on the inside, but they are for the people on the inside. turns into a mission.

jesus gives peace, and blows the holy spirit upon us.

when we leave church, we need to share our "cupcakes". we are not leaving God when we leave church--we are going to meet him.

lastly, we need to be open minded about what God wants to do in your life.

peace.

"Everyone has faith. Faith in something. Someone. Every act demonstrates some form of faith. Driving. Working. Having sex. Lack of faith is simply faith in something else. Even suicide is an act of faith. My faith is hard to sum up in a trite sound-bite. I struggle with my faith every day. Faith in a creator. Faith in a soul. Faith in a world that still has the promise of change. Faith in a redeemer who cares for the broken, the poor, and the marginalized. This faith influences my best actions. My struggle for faith is often on my mind so I write about it in my songs."-jon foreman

i love life.

don't you love that feeling? that everything in life is going really well? i've been that way since about august. i'm in a really good place right now. this summer was interesting, and definitely not what i expected, but hey. that's the way life works, right? cinnamon life gets really soggy if you start a blog entry and don't eat it immediately. oh well.

let's see. i have a new boyfriend, who is absolutely amazing. my life is just so much brighter with him in it, it's a different perspective on life. it's incredible. did i mention he's my best friend from high school? yeahhh...it works.

i'm applying for teach for america, and i want to change the world...i had many chats this summer about that, and i really think i need to do something before i throw myself into a biology job. i need to do something. i'm reading lots of articles and books about social justice, and really getting involved in service learning with my coordinator position. if you haven't read "irresistable revolution" by shane claiborne, you should. this book is changing my life. i feel like it's where god is calling me to be. i find that many of my blog entries are about how i don't know what to do with my life. i guess that's what i struggle with the most.

i was reading about my taize trip yesterday, and i realized how that was when i first realized everything about jesus. i guess you could say it was when i came to christ. it was amazing. i found a church here in birmingham, finally. i cried the first week i went when the pastor was praying. i don't even remember what it was about. maybe it was the lord's prayer, but i'm not sure. with that said, my spiritual life is growing and in an amazing place.

i may be going to chile for spring break mission trip. i sure do hope so.

ok. i have to go write my research proposal. yay yeast and pdr network.

keep the peace.

so i need you all to do something.

check out www.jesusbranded.com

it's this awesome site that has clothes that are HAND-FREAKIN-MADE and that are about jesus, and faith, and God, and all that AWESOME stuff.

i really love it. i think it's an awesome ministry and a way for someone to say "hey, i like your shirt, what's it mean" and you can be all like "yeh-it's from this bible verse".

it's cool. check it out, and support them.

peace!

nooma, justice, and junk!

we are using nooma videos (rob bell) for bible studies this summer. they rock. here are two quotes:

"God hates it, he can't stand it, when we put on a religious show and then we ignore the poor and the broken and the marginalized and the oppressed" -Sunday
---this quote is parallel with jon foreman's song, "instead of a show". it's incredible. well, both of these, and the ideas.

"you know that moment, like when your junk catches up to you? it's like maybe not that day, maybe not the next day, maybe not for a while, but give it enough time, it always finds us"-Lump.

that's all for now.

camp

ok. i'm at camp. i actually spent most of this afternoon cleaning and organizing the waterfront office, where i will be spending a lot of time. there were lots of dead bugs and spiders. no fun.

i'm all alone up here until tomorrow night, which is strange. the other 2 guys who were here left. one went home, and the other went to the other nj camp to get his first responder certification so we can have a health director. craziness. so it's been rather quiet all day. it's weird not being around people, especially in such a place like this. in just a few weeks, it won't be quiet. you will be able to hear the laughter of children all over the place, which is what this ministry is about. I can't wait, even if i'm not a counselor. i saw the list of kids returning, and it makes me excited, since i know bunches of them.

it was thundering earlier, and i hope that ceases. because i would like to walk down to the pizza place down the street and eat food. rather than the crap we have in the apartment thing we are staying in. although, i am very tired. i may just plop on the couch down there and watch movies all night. and go to bed early.

i think i WILL walk to the catholic church down the road in the morning. ooo. i wonder if they have mass tonight. nah. i'm smelly and dirty. and i would be bored tomorrow too. i'm going to go tomorrow, then get lunch at the pizza place! SWEET. i have somewhat of a plan.

i walked to the post office today to send cards to my dad. our director hasn't been around all day. oh wells.

it's getting cloudy. i should go before it starts raining.

till next time...

ramblings...

i think i like this again. perhaps?

i am in love with barack obama. he's just amazing. and i'm glad he has claimed the nomination.

i am also in love with the book eat. pray. love. it is really changing the way i look at life, and has influenced many important decisions i've been making in my life lately. they are big ones too. just how she writes gets to me and there is so many life lessons she learned that i really need to hear. i'm sure other people agree with me.

i think i want to be a missionary. pastor jeff is always right with me, and this one he hit the nail right on the head--it's absolutely insane. there are some programs through the united methodist church that i'm going to apply for next year--so meaning i will participate in 2009. one is just in the us and the other is half in us, half abroad. i like the second one better. they are like 3 years long. i'm excited.

hmm. camp starts soon. i really hope i get the position i want. i'm pretty much going to beg to be waterfront director when i talk to her on the phone tomorrow. i feel like i'm qualified. i don't want to be a counselor again. i hope she understands it's not because i would be working along side of my boy.

i have to have an important conversation this week with someone. it could go really well or be really disastrous. i hope for the first one. please pray for me, if you read this and if you pray.

my spiritual life is much better these days. i've been praying lots, and i feel like God is really giving me answers...i think this has been one of the first times i've actually felt so sure of God being here in my life. it's incredible to see him working in my own life. i could go on for days.

i'm 21 now. and i'm a senior in college. holy shit, my life is going quicker than i can keep up with. oh well. let's just say me and my friends no longer go out to starbucks. or the diner. we go out and grab a drink. i'm not so sure i like this...

i've been living well with help from jon foreman (the lead singer of switchfoot, who I HELD HANDS WITH AT THE CONCERT)'s song Your Love is Strong off his SPRING EP. which is amazing. it's pretty much the lord's prayer with redone lyrics in an amazing song.

however, i leave you with some lyrics from his band's song, stars:

"stars looking at a planet watching entropy and pain, and maybe start to wonder how the chaos in my life could pass as sane. i've been thinking about the meaning of resistance of a hope beyond my own and suddently the infinite and penitent begin to look like home" -switchfoot, "stars"

keep the faith.

"it is only when we risk life together precisely with those who are not like us, not our kind of people, that we discover who we ourselves are and what it means to be human beings created in the image of the Creator who chose to be with and for us creatures, and created us for community with others who are different from us"
--Shirley C. Guthrie

when i'm sick, i can't work out because it hurts my breathing.

and i was running before i got sick. that makes me sad.

antibiotics! heck yes!

in case one couldn't tell by the title, i am sick, and am on drugs. yay for antibiotics that work better than otc meds. yay, hooray! minus the part that involved sitting at the family care center for 3 hours for him to hardly explain what was wrong (i had to look at the chart!). so, it's acute sinusitis/bronchitis. yuck. there was a fever involved a few days ago and that sucked. royally. i'm feeling better today, still really tired. so off to bed!

peace.

i'm stuck inside this rut i fell into by mistake...

wow. what an interesting past 2 months. i suppose a lot has happened. good? not so sure. exciting? yes.

i definitely feel like the song "be my escape" by relient k--see song lyric in title. my spiritual life sucks right now, which makes me sad. i definitely look back on january, and i think that's what was missing. i was really blah, so with the start of the new semester, i'm trying to do a few things:

1. run or skate 6 days a week.
   
2. eat healthier.
3. pray more often
4. read my bible
5. be nicer to people
6. try to be as positive as possible
7. give 100% to everything i do

okay. i think that's all. that could change, but i would really like to lose the weight i put on over interim. i think it's a good list.

i'm taking archeology, and totally feel like indiana jones. it's pretty sweet.

my skating teams competed last weekend, and wow. what an experience sectionals was from a coach's perspective. i really wish i could skate on a competitive team again someday...even if it's adult. i would love to skate on a senior team...but we shall see.

i'm not playing lacrosse. skating has overtaken my free time, which i'm happy about. all these kiddies want to compete and have lessons with me :) which makes me smile. i've decided i want to work with kids. in what way? don't know yet. trying to figure that out. definitely want to coach.

camp is going to be open this summer, and i'm way excited. it's my home.

peace.