a good prayer

Spirit of God, fill our young people and infuse them with a passion for you and for your kingdom. Give them wisdom to discern your calling, boldness to confront those who would look down on them, and may their passion and energy inspire and encourage all of us in your service.

kudos to sojourners :) i like this prayer.

tattoo.

i'm seriously contemplating getting a small tattoo on my wrist. probably a cross, or something christian like that can be hide-able if necessary. i am always wearing bracelets, and probably always will, so it's a pretty legit place to get one. a friend just got one there, and i kind of really like it. thoughts? i mean, it would be pretty small. like not even an inch.

it will continue to be contemplated. but, it would have to be done before 2010. just because.

peace.

i have a strange brain.

i had the strangest dream last night, involving friends from far and near. it started out with one friend trying to convince me to go to medical school (mind you, this is all in birmingham). but i really wanted to go to seminary, which Drew University was in homewood (weird, right?). So, between the time where i moved to birmingham and started seminary, there was a six month period where i didn't have anywhere to live. so my best friend was moving to TN, and therefore gave me her apartment. great, right? except, the medical school found out and decided i couldn't live there because i didn't go to school there. even though this wasn't their apartment. so i have to race around and try and find somewhere to live. so, my friend who is in medical school is all like "come live with me in this one room apartment." so, i do. but it's tiny and i'm confused. so, then i get a letter in the mail, and it turns out said friend applied to med school for me. and i got in. except at the same time, i was trying apply to the medical school's seminary (strange...) so i could live there. i don't know how it ended, except there was cuddling, a dog with broken legs, and other random things that were going on.

it was quite a complicated dream. i hope this isn't a sign of what's going to happen at drew next year.

aside from my strange dream, i suppose things are good. had a conversation with a friend yesterday that was really heartwarming and made me feel better about life. until i over thought it. and now, i'm stressing about it. oh well. i mean, i'll get through this, right?

i also am overanalyzing everything any boy says to me. this single-ness is quite confusing for my 22 year old brain to handle. GAH. why does live have to be so complicated sometimes?

meanwhile, i'm trying to focus on the things that matter. like holy spirit movin', and youth retreats, and figuring out what kind of activities to do with five people on a sunday night...suggestions are welcome.

i feel like it's one of those days where i need to scream and i'll feel better. i can't do that in my office though. i'm afraid someone might die.

ok. off now.

peace.

sad.

it's times like these, where i get in an argument with my mom, or am wanting to throw things at my young sister, that i miss my friends.

why? because i was constantly surrounded by people who wanted to make me feel better about life. who would say, "let's remedy this with cookies" or would listen to my fits of rage through tears and sobs. they would then try and figure out some way to make it better, usually with a tv show or conversation.

this is when i miss my friends the most. i wish ya'll were here...

drew is done!

my personal statement is in.

all my recommenders contacted (SWEET!), and they just have to send them in!

now, i wait for the "official letter".

i want january to be here NOW.

i'm procrastinating majorly. i need to plan my youth group activities for sunday. i just made labels with famous people's names for my jr. high. we're going to play a game. i can't wait for the teenage boys to get taylor swift and miley cyrus. and kevin jonas ;) hahaha. i'm evil.

we are going to do a bible study on community, and i'm excited about it.

i'm learning how to knit. it's rather funny to watch; i'm not very good. i have to practice. i'm making my sister a scarf for her skating team. all the parents make one for their kids. so i am making hers, since neither one of my parents knits. it's not too hard. i casted on sixty stitches, and am now trying to knit.

i can't wait for youth activities to get rolling-starts sunday. get excited! i'm praying that things go well, and that the kids really open up to me. there are also opportunities to hang out throughout the week, and i know some middle schoolers are quite excited about that! yippee :)

well, that's it.

peace.

two sentences too long.

my personal statement for drew is two sentences too long.

WHYYYY???

i've already reduced the font size.

and tried everything possible. man, now i have to edit. crap-o-la

list of things that make me happy

i've been trying to post for a week, but it has proved unsuccessful.

things last week:

1. visited drew university theological school-loved it. scholarship? yes! will start in the spring

2. had amazing conversation with pastor.

3. made up with matt, and we are now friends (good thing, trust me)

4. been chatting with friends from bham

5. taize service/covered dish last night--met some neat people. one potential friend (!)

6. played frisbee with youth, and so excited about my youth.

7. anxious about a youth ministry meeting tomorrow night. meeting with a "team" of volunteers, to talk about my ideas for the year. pray it goes well? thanks.

8. church this morning was incredible.

9. taize service was more incredible last night.

10. i ate an entire bag of sour jelly belly jellybeans. i think i'm going to be angry at myself later.

11. i bought candy corn today too. i am so excited!

12. singing in the church choir is FUN.

13. drew university gave me a social justice "toolbox"-so awesome.

14. my 12 year old cousin is on facebook. that's just weird.

15. i met a girl at drew who knows some of my friends from bsc. small world? yes. very.

i think that's it for now.

i'll update another time soon.

peace.

life is good :)

life is going so amazingly. seriously? i couldn't be any happier right now.

my youth events yesterday went SO WELL.

i had a conversation with my pastor about life, and it's so amazing to be headed in the right direction. it's amazing to reflect back on my life, looking at all the signs that were pointing me towards ministry. and here i am. and how many times i prayed for god to "make it clear" over and over for a few years. and here i am, in the span of three months, it's made clear to me that this is where i am supposed to be right now in my life. things are falling into place, and it's absolutely incredible.

now to take the next step, and finish my application to drew. i'm going there tomorrow to visit.

pastor jeff and i talked about so much today. social justice, drew, life, church, reaching out, ministry, how to do ministry...i learned SO MUCH. and i'm going to start the candidacy process. it's amazing to be able to see god's involvement in my life over the last ten years. and to know that i have a plan? it's amazing.

i'm going to go to seminary and be able to be active in the local church. and teach skating. and learn. and meet with pastors in the local church often. it's incredible. amazing. life-changing.

man, i need to reflect more. i'll update later on other going-ons.

xx

commissioning.

wow. what a day!

i am praising god for the opportunity to be working at bjumc :) it's such a blessing.

today i was "commissioned" or officially welcomed into the church with some methodist installation words, and it was so amazing how welcoming everyone was. and the nice things they all had to say about me. :D i feel like this is where i'm supposed to be, and i LOVE my job. i got to meet the youth of the church today. i'm so excited to really get to know some of the senior high girls and play games with the energy-filled junior high groups. among so many other things. thye are all so excited to have a youth director, and i am so thrilled that they hired me :) :) :)

i joined the choir this week, which was fun :) i love singing. i forgot how mmuch fun it was, and also how much practice i need ;) ah well, it will come in time.

skating is busy as well-we have competition applications to fill out, and programs to finish choreographing. with nine teams from babies-juniors, it's a crazy time of year.

man, i am exhausted. i'll post more details about life tomorrow when i get a chance.

i'm going to meet with my mentor tomorrow to talk about my personal statement for seminary.

tuesday? i'm going to visit the seminary at drew university, and talk to them and make sure this scholarship business is settled. and take a tour, and sit in on a class. i'm pretty excited :D :D :D

life is GREAT. i love my job, i have amazing friends (even though they all life all over the country) and family. and i have an amazing God!

peace.

friendship.

i have some awesome friends, that make me smile when i'm down.

it can even just be through a simple google chat conversation.

oh, life.

beware.

i'm pretty sure it's one of those days where the littlest thing could set me off. beware..

mess of me

so, switchfoot is doing this thing where they are hiding copies of their new single, mess of me, all over the world. it's kind of like a pay it forward type deal. they are using twitter to tell everyone where the copies are hid. it's really pretty awesome. not to mention, the single is AMAZING. i love it. i found a copy of it at a nearby mall. it was kind of awkward, since i had to explain to the manager why i was taking a cd out of his stacks, putting it in my purse, and leaving. i didn't want to look sketchy, so i did this. he was intrigued.

nevertheless, it's my turn to pass it on, and i'm trying to figure out where to hide it. i want to be creative, so it'll definitely be an interesting project. i'm considering hiding it somewhere here in basking ridge, near my church...that might be cool.

it's a neat way to promote the band, and get the word out.

as much as i like mess of me, i would love to get a hand on their new song, the sound. both are pretty sweet.

i just love switchfoot.

if you want a copy, i can pass it on to you, just let me know, and i'll "hide it" in an envelope.

or just follow @switchfoot on twitter or search for #messofme in your state, and it'll come up, and try and find one.

peace.

revgen

september. thank goodness. i know its been september for a week, but i would like to recall the fact that school is about to start for most kiddos, including mine at the church which means things can get rolling! i am glad that it is labor day, and that i slept for twelve hours last night...

life is moving along-i'm still having issues with this whole break-up situation...i was fine for a few days, then it hit me like a ton of bricks yesterday. i just don't understand how we can go from being so close and in love to nothing. and there was no closure...oh well. i guess it will come. i don't even know how to go about being friends, and if that will work...ugh. this sucks.

on a happy note, i went to revelation generation--a huge christian music festival here in jersey. with like 5 stages. i went by myself, cuz matt and i were supposed to go together. which was perfectly alright. because i knew what i wanted to do. so, i went primarily to see jon foreman, relient k, and switchfoot. who were all AMAZING. jon foreman's acoustic set rocked my world. and then i wandered around, and saw needtobreathe, who were pretty good. i ran into dan, which was cool. then i had a break, but not a long one because i found out switchfoot was doing a signing. so i went to that, and met the band. minus jon. i was sad he wasn't there, but it was okay, because i have an autographed poster. although, i'm still waiting to meet jon foreman...it will come. later on, i wandered over to the stage so i could get a good spot, met some nice people who i chatted with. relient k was AMAZING. i forgot how much i loved them. and then, of course SWITCHFOOT :D :D :D they were good, as always. both bands played some new tunes, which rocked.september. thank goodness. i know its been september for a week, but i would like to recall the fact that school is about to start for most kiddos, including mine at the church which means things can get rolling! i am glad that it is labor day, and that i slept for twelve hours last night...

here's some pics of the festival:

switchfoot!

oh jon foreman.

relient k!

jon's acoustic set :D

okay. haircut time.

xx

and in the end...

and it's over. yep, matt and i are finished. he broke it off last night, kind of out of the blue, but not really. to make a long story short, he's not ready for the type of commitment i want to have. he isn't willing to dedicate the days i'm available to hanging out with me. we're also not in the same life situation. we're on different pages and looking for different things...however, we also weren't happy.

am i upset? yes.

am i relieved? a bit

have i cried? of course.

i just need to keep remembering that when one door closes, another one will open.

2 of my favorite quotes right now that are getting me through this:

"the will of God will never lead you where the grace of God cannot keep you"

"I know the plans I have for you...plans to prrosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"-jeremiah 29:11

i'll survive, i know i will. it will just take time.

on a happier note, i get to see jon foreman, switchfoot, and relient k this weekend at Revelation Generation here in jersey. AND i have an artist interview pass which means I might meet Jon Foreman :) sweet. something to look forward to.