rebuild?

i am hungry. why is that, you may ask? i am not sure. it is currently 4:45 AM and i am awake. i'm not sure i like this hour of the morning. i have to go to the aeroport. :) yay for going home again. i still feel like there is schoolwork i should be doing. like, without schoolwork, i'm feeling a little lost. oh well. i will miss organic chemistry. i know i'm a nerd, but i did really well in that class, and i loved it. i get to take the second half next semester but sadly, not with the same professor. he's going on sabbatical. i'm sleepy, and i think that i will sleep for a long time on the plane, perhaps. i have an exciting weekend ahead. i get to go with my lovely boyfriend back to his seminary, and go to a christmas party and then we are going to a wedding on saturday! i found a dress, which is shocking cuz i usually suck at finding things to wear. it's really cute.

have i told you how much i love switchfoot? they are great guys. i want to be friends with them. ok. i have to go finish packing and cleaning.

keep the faith.

finals are loooooming

holy crap. i have a final tomorrow...yikes. i don't like sociology. not one bit.

i had the best talk with my boyfriend tonight about my future. it was well needed. all i want to do is make a difference in a child's life, but i don't want to be a teacher. a skating coach? we shall see.

i must finish working. but this was calling for a post.

keep the faith.

thanksgiving.

i'm home, and it's thanksgiving. i love thanksgiving! it really reminds me of all the things i'm thankful for in my life. i won't list them all, but in a nutshell, i'm thankful for my friends and family (both near and far). i'm also thankful for everything in my life. it's pretty awesome.

happy thanksgiving everyone!

i'm going home...to the place where i belong

i am sitting in the birmingham airport (or aeroport for those of you from the UK). my flight is delayed. because of the weather back home in jersey. stupid snow or hail or what have you. oh well, luckily there is free wireless internet. pretty sweet, if i say so myself. i think my flight isn't leaving for another like 1.5 hours. ridiculous! i just want to get home and be with my boy who is picking me up. stupid stupid weather. it's always something when i fly. whether i get in a fender bender on my way to the airport and almost miss my flight and the people make me cry, or if it's cancelled or delayed or all of the above. it sucks. oh well. i get to be home soon.

you really realize how much family and stuff mean to you once you are not around them for like 3 months. i really miss my family right now. it's kinda crazy. oh such is life. me and my friends had a youtube party earlier. and we watched ridiculous music videos from our childhoods. it was fun. i love n*sync.

hmm. what else. i got a good grade on an organic chemistry test, and i feel good about myself. especially since i really like that class. i'm a loser, i know. i don't want to sit in the aeroport any more. i'm also hungry. but i'm in the smallest airport terminal every and it has no food. luckily i brought a zone bar and bought a diet coke. i think i'll survive. maybe they'll have snacks on the plane. we are boarding soon, even though we are just going to sit for forever. STUPID. oh well. i understand that because they say otherwise we will miss the departure time.

see ya in jersey.

i am under the weather. and i feel like crap.
i just want to be home when i feel like this and have my mommy and boyfriend take care of me. oh well. i'm just going to sleep for a long time and get better. i can't be sick. i'm too busy to be sick. it's the truth! and i need to stop complaining because there are people much worse off than me, like my youth group director from high school who has cancer. it's sad.

keep the faith

oh! gravity. why can't we seem to keep it together?

"we were meant to live for so much more
have we lost ourselves?
somewhere we live inside...
We want more than this world's got to offer
We want more than the wars of our fathers
And everything inside screams for second life"
Meant to Live-Switchfoot

first off. i saw switchfoot and relient k in concert. they are two of my favorite bands EVER and it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. no joke. relient k was pretty good. well, really good. but switchfoot was AMAZING. they put on a great show, and i never realized how powerful some of their songs are. when meant to live was playing, i had a moment. it was so powerful. we, as people living in society, really have lost ourselves and forget what we are living for, which is for Christ and God. "awakening" is another good song. you should go listen.

yay life.
back to the grindstone. i go home in 2 weeks from yesterday for thanksgiving and needless to say, i'm super excited. i miss my other half. and my family. i have so much work in the next month but i'll be able to get it done.

keep the faith.

camp gives kids a world of good

this blog is such a procrastination tool. oh well. i suppose that's part of college. and organic chemistry papers. i can't help but be thinking about camp, since as of today it is closed until the summer. i found myself looking at photos from this summer and really thinking about whether or not i made a difference in some kids lives or not. i feel like i did. i pray that i did, because i'm going to try and start to be aware of that with my skating team, that is teaching them life lessons like my coach(es) did/are doing now. i hope that i can be a fraction of what my girls are to me :) i felt lost not having practice tonight. silly volleyball tourney at the rink.

hmm. well, back to 13C NMR Spectroscopy.

fun.

keep the faith.

the pic is from when me and my campapalooza kiddies dressed up as war savages. that was the most spontaneous week EVER, which involved tons of puddle jumping :)

WWJD?

is it a bad thing that i life my life asking the question "what would Jesus do?" and that I imitate my life after his? This Who is Jesus class I am taking has really made me mad the past few days. maybe not so much angry, but I leave feeling like my view of Jesus is so much different than many other people's...not a bad thing i suppose? I definitely have decided i do NOT like the movie The Last Temptation of Christ.

more later. back to this Jesus Midterm.

the future is scary.

i hate when i get to thinking about what i'm going to do with the rest of my life. i mean, seriously? why all this thought lately. it's like i have to decide RIGHT NOW what i'm going to be doing in 20 years. i don't think i like that. i don't, because it gets me stressed out. which is never good. so many people just keep telling me to live day to day and i try to do that. but it never works! and i can't see how i can just let go and let god, and how i shouldn't be thinking about grad school and options and the future. i try, i really do. and it's only about once a week lately that i freak about these things. it's just like i want god to be like 'KALEIGH, THIS IS WHAT YOU SHOULD DO!". but nope, i know that's not gonna happen. i guess i just don't know if i can be doing biology forever. or if i'm smart enough. someone told me a few days ago to think about the things that i love. i love skating. the most. but i can't do that forever...i just don't know. i need to pray about it. and it doesn't help that all the camp stuff that's happened lately is making me really feel i need to do a bio internship this summer, especially if i want to do a PhD program. PhD? scary thoughts. seriously, i just don't know...i really need to pray about it. a lot. i will definitely miss making a difference in a kid's life this summer. i just got an IM from a camper who asked me if i'll be going back next summer, and what i'll be doing. ahhhh. so many decisions!! the only life-changing things i'll be doing this summer if i'm not at campis with yeast cells. wow. exciting? okay. that was unnecessary sarcasm.

my spiritual life is kinda lacking lately, and i hate to say that i feel like god is on the backburner sometimes. but yeahh. i'm so busy, i feel like i'm overextending myself waaaay to much. but there is really nothing i can drop. i'm not involved in much but everything i'm involved in takes up a lot of time and energy. so dropping something would be hard for me, cuz it means a lot to me. blahh. in other things, i saw hanson in concert 2 days ago. they were amazing. :) it made me happy.

life is tiring me out. and i'm only halfway done with the semester and the next week and a half is going to be hellish. oy. i'll make it, i know i will. just so much work. crazy.

keep the faith.

525,600 things to do.

so life is hectic right now. there are five million things going on, and needless to say, i'm feeling a bit (okay that's an understatement), a lot overwhelmed...i'm on overload. i have an organic paper and genetics test on friday...hopefully i can get a bulk of orgo done tonight...it's just so stressful! so much work. so little time, especially because i'm so busy...sometimes there comes a time when it's a downfall to be busy...

in the meantime, i've also been giving a lot of thought to my future, which probably isn't the best idea...but i keep coming back to the idea of not returning to aldersgate this summer, but to get a biology research internship. a big kid job. do i like the sounds of it? no, but if it betters my chances of getting into graduate school, then yes. also, if i don't get the position i want at camp this summer...that may be taken into consideration. prayers are needed to see if God wants me to be stepping up at camp or if he's trying to have me take a step back. i guess i just need prayers for clarity at this point. i think i've gotten a better idea about graduate school-going for an integrative biomedical sciences program (aka cancer research and stuff like that). it looks right up my alley. it leads to a PhD...i'm not sure where that would take me. it's kind of scary. but i went to a debate with richard dawkins, biologist and atheist and another christian biologist and it kind of makes me want to go into the field of biology and prove that you can be a big time biologist and also believe in God and have opposing views on Darwin and stuff like that. there aren't very many of those right now. the world needs some. maybe that's what my call is. only god knows though. we'll see where that road takes me.

for now, synchronized skating and organic chemistry and genetics rule my life.

my kiddies are looking good. i'm proud of them.

keep the faith :)
life is good.

life!!!

wow. it's been over a month since i updated this thing, and i'm totally doing it while i should be studying for a genetics exam...oh well. such is life! so much has happened in the past 3 months, and it's, for the most part, been so amazing and life-changing. camp was so eye opening and i was really able to be confident in what i was doing and just be a counselor, not having to worry about if i was doing well or not. being a weekly director was awesome, especially in a leadership role where i could plan my own week. woo hoo! i met some amazing people, and some that i know i'll be in contact with forever. i do miss them a lot. i really learned a lot about my faith this summer as well, and i feel the closest to God than i've ever been. i was really able to get into the bible studies with the kids and had a ton of "god moments". it was sweet.

oh, and i'm in a relationship now too. not just any relationship, but a big kid one. yeahh...its so amazing, there just aren't any words for how i feel. :) this is totally the happiest i've been in a while. unfortunately, we are 1,000 miles away but that's not stopping anything. it's amazing.

i'm back at school now, and things are pretty much in full swing. i'm busy with skating, lacrosse, service learning, being a biology major, band, and just friends i suppose. those are important. i'm loving lacrosse, and am so glad i decided to pick it back up again. my classes are gonna be tough, especially organic chemistry and genetics, but i suppose that's life, and i will be learning a lot. at times, i've been feeling like i'm spreading myself a bit too thin but i function better when i'm busy. also, there's nothing i can drop. it all means a lot to me, especially skating. my teams are looking so strong right now, and i'm so proud of every single girl because they are working so hard!! yayy for southern magic.

well, back to studying.

life is good (AMAZING) :)

camp!

camp is amazing. holy crap. there's only one week left.

ya know what else is amazing? being in love.
7.7.07
heee. kat and dan.

summertime!

let's see. summer is officially rolling. i go to camp in a week, and couldn't be more excited. i brought ally up to camp a week ago and krissy and i just kinda chilled up there with dan and dee for a bit. it was sweet. then we went to the mall, and i came home with a new ear piercing in my cartilage. i'm quite a fan, if you care to know. i love it.

this last week has been kinda quiet. i've not been very social, just kinda hanging out here with my family doing bunches of skating stuff. i saw jersey boys, the show about frankie valli and the four seasons and it was AMAZING. holy crap, i think it tops every show i've seen. although it's tough to beat rent for me...but the singing and the music just didn't stop and their story is SO incredible. i'm so glad i had the chance to see it, and still with the original cast =].

i had an awful allergic reaction last night, and we're not sure to what. it was rather scary, because it started to affect my breathing and i thought i was going to go all anaphylactic shock on my family. scary stuff. not a fan. my face got all swollen too. i looked like a chipmunk. but it's all better now, thank goodness. my parents and i seem to think there may have been seafood mixed in with the dinner i ate last night. oh well.

that's about it. skating camp this weekend. i'm excited to learn!!!

life is good!

allykat reunited.

so ally is here. unfortunately, she leaves on monday to go to camp. i will be taking her there. we have had an awesome week, doing all sorts of touristy things. did nyc. saw rent :) i think that's the fourth time i've seen it. hooray! took her to the memorial day parade. celebrated my 20th birthday (YIKES, i feel old...). went down the shore! yayyy jersey shore. went to a nj jackals baseball game. and we've just been hanging out the rest of the time. i'm quite a fan of her.

aside from that, i chaperoned the 6th grade band trip to six flags yesterday, and the band director thought i was a sixth grader. i had him when i was in 7th grade. he was so confused. then he finally made the connection that me and my sister are related, and was like WOAH! you're old. and i was like yeahhh, i am indeed old. aside from that, it was a fun day. a bit hot, but i got to get some sun. the kiddies were low maintence, which is always a plus.

we watched movies today and retrieved krissy, dan, and dolores from the train station, cuz Dolores flew in from Slovenia. google that country if you don't know where it is.

if you haven't seen it yet, check out postsecret.blogspot.com
it's an amazing website.

life is good!

excitement.

excitement is everywhere. i'm at krissy's house. dan should be arriving shortly. we made manatee cookies, and a giant kiwi (the bird) cookie because ALLY IS COMING. we are going into nyc to retrieve her soon, and needless to say, i'm stoked.

i found out some stuff last night about a close friend, and i'm not sure i like it. at all. she could get in big trouble for it. oh, it worries me, cuz she's like a little sister to me, and i worry about her. oh well.

yay for camp friends :-D

and my birthday is sunday. i'm gonna be 20. i'm getting old.

life is good :)

school's out for summer.

i'm home, and despite the awful pollen here in new jersey, it's fabulous. i always forget how much i love jersey until i get back. it makes me happy. it's just something about suburbia and being near nyc...i suppose. or it's just the place i grew up, and it has emotional attachment. okay, enough sappy stuff.

i hung out with friends, which is always awesome. i really do miss the JCHS friends. and rink friends. etc. ally comes on friday and me and some camp people are going to pick her up in NYC which is going to be amazingly awesome. or wicked. or some word that means sweet. my kid sister also turned 12 today, meaning that today that also happened, and i can't believe she is 12. i remember the day she was born. my grandma today reminded me that we got bagels on the way to the hospital. oh, grandmas.

what else...my birthday is sunday and i'm going to be 20. i don't really actually know how i feel about that. wait, yes i do. i feel old.

i miss a bunch of my friends. but i'm also excited about this summer. it's a very bittersweet moment. i miss one in particular who is gallavanting on the beach. silly boy. oh well. i'm making it. i have to clean my room soon. or else my mother might hurt me. and also cuz ally is staying...oh the cleaning woes. i have a feeling that will be happening late tonight. well. that's all.

life is good.

i'm all smiles

wow. so much has happened in the past few days, and i'm definitely a giggly little girl because of it.
well, first off i passed my senior moves in the field for skating, which means i'm at the highest level for that, and that thrills me. it makes me feel really accomplished, and now i'm much more focused and into passing my freestyle and dance tests. awesome, right? yep. well. that happened, and skating tryouts happened as well, and they went really well. i am going to have two teams next year, and that makes me really happy.

other exciting news, you may ask...well, there's kind of a boy in my life. and it makes me feel all giggly and girly. this all kind of started like 2 weeks ago, and it's been quite awesome. we talked last night and well, i go home friday so it's going to be hard to start anything. but we're going to hold off until the fall. 'til then, we are going to hang out. we didn't really establish what we are last night, but that's okay. i'm okay with this. i feel like a little middle school girl. haha.

finals are looming, and i feel like i really haven't learned anything.

oh well. life is good. no wait, life is GREAT.

southern magic is love

i love my skating team, and i am so proud of them. they had their first skating competition this weekend, and needless to say, i am overly proud to be their coach. despite a small fall, the girl got up and kept going, which is what I was most worried about. I was so nervous, especially since it was my first competition as a coach, but my mom has really trained me well. and i got through it. with the help of some of the other coaches, of course. it was a whirlwind of a weekend, but i am so proud of them. they got 2nd (out of two teams), but i love how most of them are so excited to skate so much better and get first place next time. i also think i found another coach to work with me, which thrills me. every good synchro team has a male dance coach. it's awesome.

as far as life goes, it's great. a week and a half left of classes, then finals. and i'm home on the 18th. woohoo! then it's off to camp not too long after that. oo! here's a picture of my girlies. they skate to tarzan. this is before they got on the ice. i <3 them.

keep the faith :)

hmm. it's saturday, and it's been one of the first relaxing ones i've had in a while. it's been fabulous. work was good. i had some nice conversations and finally figured out my plan for nashville in 2 weeks. this makes me a lot less stressed, considering that was one of the biggest stresses of the week. now i just have to find a ride. . .that won't be too bad. i have tons of skaters driving up. thank goodness i have a team.

my skaters looked really good today, which makes me extraordinarily happy. i'm so proud of them since they've come such a long way. and then i have 2 skaters competing on may 5 in the beginner competition. it's just all exciting. :) skating has really made my life so incredibly enjoyable down here. yay.

i have been babysitting for the demon children, and they are really demons. i can't stand them.
no more of that. one more and i am finished.

a friend made me dinner on thursday night. it was awesome. and we watched movies and chatted, and needless to say, i'm glad i have that friend.

okay, i'm sleepy.
life is good.!

my alarm clock just scared the living hell out of me. and i woke up all frantic, and now i'm all jittery. it could also be because i have a latin exam today which i'm going to bomb. and i don't really care. i'm exhausted and crabby. granted, it is 8 am and no one is supposed to be chipper at this time. i have a really long day and just need to get away from school, which i am doing tomorrow night. that makes me feel soooo much better.

ok. so these jitters need to go away, cuz now i just feel like i'm really nervous and nauseous. ARG. the end.

i have found a new favorite place. and it is the hoover public library. i got a library card, so now i can check out lots of fun movies and books and music. it's so much better then the bsc library. there is a lot more fun stuff here, and it makes me really happy. i dunno what it is with me lately, but i've been finding that i've been yearning to spend time alone. that's really unlike me...but maybe it's because i'm trying to find out who i am with everything going on. i'm happy, i'll admit that. it's been great.

i went out last night...like real, big kid out. i went to a club. with ashley (a guy from the rink), his friend and sara. it was sooo much fun. in the words of sara "we danced like sinners". we had a blast even though the minute we stepped outside we nearly died because of the cold. i went to bed at 3:30 and then couldn't sleep. i think that's the latest i've stayed up from going out. i have stayed up that late for studying for cell and molecular biology. lame, right? oh well. i still have those big black x's on my hands, showing that i'm not 21. rub it in, stupid people, rub it in why dontcha. yeahh.

well, i'm going to look for a book on science careers. woo hoo.

i'm happy. i think i have a permanent smile on my face, and people around me are probably wondering why i'm so happy. and so are you. but that's because i have jesus in my life. and for other reasons...which, i'm not about to divulge.

life is good. :) and that's not a joke this time.

ick. i'm back at school and needless to say, i'm not exactly thrilled. i'm blaming it on the "sophomore slump". except that it's probably just because i want to be home again. i didn't get to see everyone i wanted to. which saddens me a bit. i went up to camp while i was home and it just makes me so excited for the summer! =D

hmm. home was fabulous. i really do love my family and it was great to be able to help my mom with her skating. i think that when i go home after college i will definitely skate on her teams and help coach. we complement each other really well. i have learned a lot from her. now i have to take that to my team, who is competing in a month. eek. it's going to be so weird looking at a competition from the other side, and doing it by myself. i know i can do it though. she's taught me well.

well, i'm off to watch high school musical and such. :)
life is good.

MA MAISON!!

je suis à la maison. i really do miss french. it's a beautiful language. but as i said (most likely incorrectly), i am home for spring break. and there is snow on the ground. holy crap, that makes me really happy. i love the snow! i saw snow in colorado when i was skiing, and that was awesome. but this makes me truly happy to see snow. i threw snowballs at my kid sister.

along with the snow, i'm happy to just be home. i love my family a lot, and it's so nice to get away from school for a while. my kid sister is my favorite right now. and she is growing up so quickly that everytime i see her, i feel like she's not going to be a kid much longer. but she's adorable. and makes me smile.

i hung out with some friends tonight, and it was great. i love reconnecting with everyone...but i feel like as time goes on, there are those people who are still a bit stuck in high school and those who have moved on...it sucks. i feel like i'm stuck between those from high school and those in college. i'm stuck in the middle. i guess it's the sophomore slump. harumph. (that's a sound effect). i hope that it's not as bad s i think it is right now. it'll get better....right? i think it will get better, but it's really only those few friendly faces i want to see and talk to--those people who i cared about for so long. the other ones, who just sit around and relive memories of crappy high school experiences...hmm. not so much. i feel like we need to grow up and start having more fun and not living in the past. life is about today, right?

i went on this mission trip this weekend to memphis, tennesee. one of the poorest cities in america. 38126. or something like that. it was amazing to see what these people go through. we heard a testimony from a man who was a drug dealer from the time he was 11 and a member and leader of one of the biggest national gangster organizations. he found christ and it changed his life. it was an amazing testimony. yes, these people are poor but they aren't alone, they have god with them. let's forget about trying to bring god to them. god is everywhere, we just need to find him there. i really learned that this weekend, and that god wants us to help not only the poor in terms of money and food, but also the 'poor in spirit'. it sheds a whole new light on doing service. i wish bsc's service learning program would help us realize that god is calling us to help the poor.

i'm tired.
life is good!

i'm a star

i feel that being so involved in the service learning program here at birmingham southern, i should be somewhat inclined to fight against injustice and stuff like that. as many of you may know, birmingham city school are some of the worst schools, due to lack of money, and for other reasons as well. the school i tutor at may be closed within the next few years in order to continue with their consolidation process for all the school. so i went to this meeting, and it was interesting, but i'm just not interested in justice stuff. is that such a bad thing? i don't think so. i mean, don't get me wrong-service IS joy. but i don't like the whole justice part. oh well. i really hope they don't close woodrow wilson, because me and my co coordinator could lose tutors, and i would hate it for the kids. we would have to drive further, which is more of a commitment.

aside from that, i have spring break next week. i am going on a mini mission trip this weekend to memphis with RUF and i am excited :) we are doing service stuff and learning about the poor. yay service. haha. then i go home, and i'm super excited, especially since i may trek up to aldersgate. and skating. and family. and jeana and amanda will be home. happiness.

aside from that, i saw myself on the news tonight because of that meeting.

i love andrea bocelli's song because we believe. it's beautiful. i get chill bumps when i listen to it.

"once in every life, there comes a time we walk out on our own and into the light. the moment won't last, but then we remember it again when we close our eyes...like stars across the sky, we were born to shine...all of us are here because we believe"

peace.

hmm

well. let's see. i think i have decided not to be an education major because if i decide not to do it, it will have been a waste of time. also, with skating and everything else i'm doing it would be nearly impossible. and plus biology education is huge. i'll stick to just biology, especially since i feel led to that right now, and i think i should follow my heart. right? i feel like i want to work in a lab somewhere, and do something big. i almost feel like i don't think i can work with children for the rest of my life. yes, on the side, as in teaching skating more. or if i end up running a camp, but that's a whole 'nother story...

i had a boy ask me last weekend if we wanted to hang out. needless to say, we chatted tonight and we are going to hang out tomorrow night. i like having guy friends. i'm rather excited. plans look like a movie and coffee or a club. hmm.

life is good.

number 1

welcome to my life. here you will be able to see the struggles of a college girl trying to decide what she wants to do with her life. you will be able to see her boy struggles, and trying to find her place in the world. enjoy :)